Diary of Daftness

Big Smoke - Small World

2011-05-30T23:53:00.005+01:00

I'm excited to be heading off to London on placement in a couple of weeks time, and will be staying with a family who have very kindly offered to host me.

In exchanging introductory emails they said "We've just been looking at a few pictures of you on facebook so we feel we are getting to know you already."

Oh dear! I dread to think what impression Fb might give! Dressing as a male boxer-come-murder for the all-girl murder mystery night is a particular worry!

This comes hot on the heels of several incidents, though thankfully all within the Baptist fold, which is a small world in a way.

I was at a regional meeting about a month ago where someone instantly said "Oh yes, I know who you are from Facebook. You interact with...."

At the BUGB Assembly, just a few days later, we were instructed to turn around and introduce ourselves to a random person. Mine said almost exaclty the same thing (I still have no idea who he was!). Then a couple of weeks later I was meeting a prospective tutor at my interviews for NBLC who knew of me in a similar manner.

At times like these I think I need to stop using social media, but then that would rather put the kibosh on my MA, which I propose to be (roughly) on Imago Dei, Church community, and the way the internet is changing things for better and worse!

Polly-an(onymous)-na(h)

2011-05-03T20:28:00.006+01:00

Someone said to me yesterday
"Oh, and G said he knows who you are from blogging"

It seems my attempts to remain vaguely incognito (I'm not nearly secretive enough for total anonymity!) have failed. Oh well, at least I've not said anything controversial like suggesting God has a sense of humour, or we Christians should be loving and defend everyone, including Muslims.

Oh wait...

Easter Music 4: Easter Sunday!

2011-04-24T00:22:00.007+01:00

Easter Day, and I'm listening to Morrisey's 'You Have Killed Me'

Christ has risen! The tomb is empty, and Jesus is out and about meeting people!

"As I live and breathe, you have killed me... yet I walk around, somehow"

(Try not to be put off by the strange 70's Italian TV pastiche video)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjVsdBxAzhM

Easter Music 3: Saturday

2011-04-23T01:03:00.004+01:00

Easter Saturday, and I'm listening to Damien Rice's 'Cold Water'.

For his followers it was a time of confusion, lostness and questioning. Christ was dead - what now? What did it all mean? They didn't realise that Sunday was coming....

"Lord, can you hear me now?"
The response: (not clear on this recording)
"Don’t you know I love you/And I always have/ Hallelujah/ Will you come with me?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbIKsUybL2k&feature=related

Easter Music 2: Good Friday

2011-04-22T13:28:00.007+01:00

Good Friday, and I'm listening to Duke Special's 'Song of the Hours', which he wrote for a character in Brecht's play 'Mother Courage and her Children'.

Today Christians remember Jesus' death on the cross, and this song is a simple but powerful exploration of that day:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxP78rHxmjQ

Easter Music 1: Maundy Thursday

2011-04-21T12:41:00.004+01:00

Maundy Thursday, and I'm listening to Eagle Eye Cherry's 'Save Tonight'.

Today Christians remember Jesus sharing a final meal with his friends, reminding them that he was going to suffer, and sharing bread & wine, explaining they were symbols of his body and blood. Then he prayed in the garden and knew he had to go on, though he wished it weren't so...

Hear the track here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41jKnJnNtho&feature=fvst

On a serious note...

2011-02-05T10:54:00.014Z

The prime minister has said:

"Let's properly judge these organisations: Do they believe in universal human rights - including for women and people of other faiths? Do they believe in equality of all before the law? Do they believe in democracy and the right of people to elect their own government? Do they encourage integration or separatism? These are the sorts of questions we need to ask. Fail these tests and the presumption should be not to engage with organisations"

Oh dear - the Church is in big trouble.

As we know it today, the Church is far from being universally equal in its treatment of the genders. Despite Paul's theme of radical equality between all kinds of Christian, perhaps best epitomised in Galatians 3:28 (but laced throughout his work), we persist in using a couple of passages, out of context, to deny all else that Paul teaches on the issue. Of course we conveniently forget the radical inclusivity with which Jesus treated people too, because we don’t have a documented account of a statement of doctrinal position.

Equally, how welcoming have many Christian people been of people of other faiths? How many people have we heard say "this is supposed/used to be a Christian country!". Even in a city like Cardiff, which has been multicultural since its inception, I hear that kind of attitude regularly. Perhaps we didn’t mind so much when people kept to their own areas, and didn’t live next door to us? “Do [we] encourage integration or separatism?”

Speaking of ‘groups that get public money but do little to tackle extremism’, the BBC reports that the Prime Minister said “Ministers should refuse to share platforms or engage with such groups, which should be denied access to public funds and barred from spreading their message in universities and prisons.

Is there extremism the Christian faith? How does it look to a watching world when American Pastor Terry Jones stirs up hatred? How about Christians in Uganda who want to kill those accused of homosexuality, those who offer a public service but refuse it to gay couples, protests against musicals, hundreds of years of violence...

So what have we done to tackle extremism within the Church recently? Hmmm... maybe we should be giving the building grant money back? I’d better not go and help out the prison’s Christian fellowship again, and should certainly keep my mouth shut in Uni.

Well, Cameron was talking about Muslim groups but, clearly, who are we to point the finger? It upsets me that the language of extremism and division is being used to foster just that. As a Baptist, I feel it’s my duty and heritage to oppose such "anti-extremism"-extremism. Early Baptists didn’t campaign for their own freedom of conscience when they were still an illegal group (see Thomas Helwys), but argued for religious freedom for all.

How easy it would be to sit back and tolerate, nay approve of, the oppression of Muslims, in the name of ‘freedom’. But what happens when Christians fall out of fashion? What happens when we get comfortable and stop caring about politics, and our opinions become worthless when we don’t vote. Or what about when our rights begin to be restricted too? When we stand and declare “Freedom of conscience!”, who will stand with us, when we look such hypocrites?

Next time we sing "I will speak out for those who have no voices, I will stand up for the rights of all the oppressed" let's remember what we're singing.


And if for no other reason:

“First they came for the communists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,

and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me

and there was no one left to speak out for me.”

- Pastor Martin Niemoller

Table runners

2011-01-25T11:48:00.004Z

Inspired by SkinnyFairtradeLatte's post, I spotted this in the cupboard at College today. Isn't it wonderful that now, even salt is allowed to participate in Parkour?!

Ginger-nuts

2010-09-22T02:01:00.011+01:00

The new College year has officially begun, and we continuing students have been delighted to receive the newbies. We have tried to set the ethos as a welcoming and open College community, and hope that the new folks will pick-up on this.

I decided to experiment with gingerbread the night before and, albeit a little burned, seemed to be enjoyed by all... repeatedly... before eventually being eaten.

You see, having left the biscuits in college overnight, I found that someone had been playing 'anagrams' with them by the time I arrived in the morning! Then, by the time we were released from our first lecture, there was a second configuration, that could only have been done by a member of staff!

This tutorial example became a part of ethos-setting which was eagerly embraced, and as many as could reach the gingerbread attempted to form further words.

"You need to make more vowels!" someone cried accusingly. Do I look like Carol blooming Vorderman?! So I ate an "O" to make my point!

With half the teaching staff retiring at the end of this academic year, there is more than a little feeling of demob-happy about the place!

Cramptastic

2010-07-28T15:16:00.008+01:00

So I was having a serious conversation the other day, with someone I had not previously met. Having been sitting still with my legs crossed, for a long time, I got cramp. Embarrasing eh?

I was told "See - that's because you didn't drink the water I gave you!"
True enough I expect.

I didn't like to point out why I had not drunk it. There was nothing wrong with the water, except I was nervous and, when first handed to me, I had instantly spilt a not inconsiderable amount of it down my top. I thought putting it down and leaving it might be the safest option.

Apparently not!

It's the end of the world as we know it...

2010-04-20T19:25:00.006+01:00

I'm not the brightest student at my University, by any stretch of the imagination, but I often find myself being asked for advice. Maybe it's the 'mature' student status.

Yesterday I was asked (dead seriously) the following, as we waited for a lecture to begin:
Student: "Is Bolivia in Brazil?"

Me: "No, but they're both in South America"

Student: "But I don't understand!"

Me: "Sorry, What don't you understand?"

Student "How come these nuts are produce of Bolivia if they're supposed to be Brazil Nuts?"

Me: (When I'd recovered myself)
"Well, it's just about the type of nut they are, like Cheddar cheese, or Eccles Cakes."

Student: "Those are places?!"

How on earth the poor lecturer was supposed to explain eschatology after that, I have no idea!

Interpret it however you like!

2010-01-13T23:58:00.011Z

I received some wonderful gifts this Christmas, for which I'm very grateful. The small selection photographed are all from different people, and I love them all for different reasons.

I sometimes wonder how much the presents you receive are a measure of how people view you? I am not, I hasten to add, talking about monetary value here, but about who people think you are....

If you're a regular reader, at least the Tommee Tippee cup should be self-evident!

Ideal Christmas

2010-01-03T15:34:00.012Z

I was catching up on my holiday comedy downloads, and came across a couple of classic comments in the 'Ideal' Christmas Special. Unfortunately I can't find a clip...

Moz (Johnny Vegas) has a visit from him Mum on Boxing Day. 15 mins into the episode, his Mum reveals that the man who brought him up was not really his father.

Moz's upbeat response:
"But hey, look at Jesus. His Dad wasn't his real Dad was he? And he made summat of himself. Lived fast, died young. Left a good looking corpse... that came back to life!

Also...
Moz's Mum: "How was your christmas love?"
Psycho Paul: "Went down midnight mass. All kicked off a bit. Bit of a family tradition..."

Prayer time at the Mosque

2009-10-07T00:27:00.007+01:00

Before you start to worry, I did not cause an inter-religious incident!

Yesterday, our 'Islam in the Contemporary World' class had the privilege of visiting the Butetown Mosque, and observing prayers.

I had dressed carefully, with modestly in mind, wearing trousers and a long, high-necked and unfeasibly-long-sleeved top. I even wore a nice scarf in case I was asked to cover my head. All was fine until we arrived and removed our shoes. For the first time in (honestly!) a year or more, I had allowed myself to put on odd socks... At least both were stripy, even if that's all they had in common.

A member of the Mosque showed us around and spoke with us at length. The time came for the traditional showing of thanks for his time and effort, but my brief attempt to initiate a clap was resolutely ignored by my colleagues. Words of encouragement came as we left the venue,
from the blindingly obvious "Your attempt to initiate the clapping fell a bit flat, didn't it?" to the rather charming "Yeah, that was pretty 'special'!"

Politeness is dead folks.

A giant performance

2009-09-11T01:47:00.005+01:00

Thanks Jazzy J for directing me to this video. A great mash-up of two very cools things -
The Bible and Queen!

Peek-a-boo music!

2009-09-10T16:28:00.012+01:00

I often feel like a small child these days. Clumsy, unable to master a simple drinking exercise without spillages, and increasingly aware of how little I know.

I imagine that most folk will have played peek-a-boo with a baby, or at least watched it being played. The child understands full-well that you are there all along, and can usually still see most of you, but will enjoy waiting expectantly for you to pop out at them. They take enormous delight in your appearance, which happens at unpredictable moments, and from a variety of strange angles.

This is the closest analogy I can find to describe how I most frequently experience God. I will go to meet with Him regularly, but I never know when, or where he will pop out at me. My greatest joy is in the times that He side-swipes me at a random moment, and in such a strange way.

Perhaps, if we should be seeking to be like small children, my regression is not as regrettable as I first thought!

Well God’s been making me jump quite a lot recently, and this evening, He did that through a book which explores an author’s relationship with a particular selection of songs. In Chapter 5 (all 3 pages of it!) Nick Hornby focuses on Rufus Wainwright’s cover of One Man Guy. I happen to really like Wainwright’s music, but Hornby’s writing doesn’t rely on any knowledge of the track.

I find it wonderful that this man, a self-proclaimed Atheist, is able to best express how through music, and often the most unlikely type, God leaps out at us in an undeniable way.

(I wish I could type-up the pages to add here, but I’m sure I’d be breaking copyright.)

If you love music, you’ll enjoy this book. Even if you don’t, I can highly recommend you read this chapter. (I’ll have my copy handy if anyone would like a peek.)

There Hornby, despite his supposed disbelief in the divine, manages to pull-off one of the best arguments for the existence of God I’ve heard in a while!

He begins:

"I try not to believe in God, of course, but sometimes things happen in music, in songs, that bring me up short, make me do a double take..."

2009-09-09T14:28:00.005+01:00

This BBC news magazine article intrigued me, for obvious reasons.

"Alan Petrie has travelled from Aberdeen to research the possibility of starting a ginger community in Scotland."
Finally, a place where Ginger Nuts, Carrot Tops and Duracell Batteries are free to roam in peace and harmony...

Check out the following genius from Catherine Tate. It never fails to crack me up!

Apolstles' Creedish

2009-09-08T01:03:00.005+01:00

This evening I found an old bracelet, made of copper, that I used to wear 'religiously'. Not for any particular reason, other than I liked it. It brought to mind this Not the Nine 'O Clock News clip though!

The Unexpected TV Evangelist

2009-07-12T17:41:00.006+01:00

Al Murray, the pub landlord, spurs conversion in Brighton.

Haunted makeup brushes

2009-07-02T14:43:00.008+01:00

I'm currently on a placement in Romsey Baptist Church, Hampshire.

I'm very grateful to be staying with a member of the church in a wonderful 16th Century cottage of vast proportions, which my host has spent a lot of time, effort and money renovating over the last couple of years. I have a huge room with its own staircase, and most crucially (with my reputation) the entire upstairs is carpeted in a pale cream colour...

Obviously paranoia set in immediately. That's why I took to knocking the excess off a makeup-powder brush on the outside of the window frame. That's how I managed to throw it out into the street the other morning, resulting in a desperate dash down the stairs,through the huge house, out the back door, and round to the front to rescue it before a dust-cart could reverse over it. It was a close shave.

A friend at the church, Chris, dubbed it "a Mrs Doubtfire moment"!

Half-full / half-empty - either way, something got wet in the process...

2009-06-23T11:45:00.010+01:00

It is said that the glass is either half-full or half-empty, depending on your point of view. I tend not to worry either way. What concerns me is where the contents have gone/could end up any second.

It never ceases to amaze me how such a small amount of liquid can spread over an unfeasibly large area, and make everything so wet.

This was my experiece, yet again, the other day in spilling an apparently miniscule amount of orange juice. How could I need to change and wash my soaked clothes, along with the dripping blanket and, half a kitchen roll later appear to have the same volume of juice in my glass as before?

I had recently thought this particular habit of spilling/dropping/knocking-over drinks (whilst sober) had been improving, until 'Drink the Bar Dry' at the Student's Union a couple of weeks ago.

Half way through the evening, this time I simply lost my grip on a glass. I blame it being a silly plastic flexible glass - though it might be just as well that it was! Given I had survived my first few drinks safely, I'd obviously let my guard down.

It was in the much classier venue later, where a friend had insisted on buying a round of hideously expensive Long Island Iced Teas that the spectacular happened. From about 5 inches above the table, my drink again slipped through my fingers... with horror I saw it fall in slow-motion to it's doom. It hit the table, wobbled on it's narrow base and remained upright - not a drop spilt! Hooray! There may be hope for me after all...

Quotations edition 2.

2009-05-23T00:45:00.004+01:00

"If it works it's not cheating"

A conversation where the answer to everything became:
"Have you tried painting him with mud?"

Here's a great one I heard on the radio this week, which I'd like to dedicate to 'a dear friend', from Old Harry's Game:
"I'm Satan. Nothing scares me... except Anne Robinson... and cycle couriers."

The New Blog of Solace

2009-05-15T17:29:00.006+01:00

Not a quantum, but an excellent new blog by a friend of mine who runs Solace: the Church in a Bar

Epic Exam Preparation

2009-05-14T23:52:00.011+01:00

This afternoon I had a Greek exam. To say I wasn't looking forward to it would be an understatement of epic proportions, if that's not some kind of paradox!.

That was until about ten minutes before kick-off, when we somehow managed to work out what the passage for translation would almost certainly be. Thankfully, I had read it twice already that morning, with the same suspicion. Others even less familiar with the Bible than myself (yes, it's possible apparently) were a bit panicked by not being able to remember much of it. So an acquaintance sitting another exam at the same venue kindly lent me a Bible.

Thus, I found myself standing on the steps of the Temple of Peace, an umbrella held up in one hand, a Bible in the other, loudly proclaiming the word of the Lord to a small crowd of completely rapt first years.

Just bizarre!

Family Reunion / It's no use crying over spilt drinks

2009-04-27T00:19:00.005+01:00

I spent Saturday night at the engagement party of a distant relative I had never previously heard of. It seems the event was being used as an excuse for a family reunion. So I spent quite a while being dragged around my Mother's cousins being introduced: "This is Louise; my eldest" to which I dutifully shook hands and said how nice it was to meet them. I was rarely told to whom I was being introduced though.

Eventually I drifted off and began meeting people my own age who were all 42nd cousins 3rd removed, and even discovering friends in common. As we mingled and chatted, one guy asked me who I was. I told him, and asked the same. The response was "Who am I? It's my party!" It seems this was the groom-to-be, and possibly the first non-relative I'd met all evening. Poor man must have felt invaded by the in-laws!

Also, within 5 minutes of arriving, I had managed to pour a drink all down the back of my leg. Well, if Mother will insist on leaving it in places where I can knock it over!

Unfortunately, this wasn't a great surprise given my reputation. Spilling drinks, usually the first of the evening, has become part of what people expect from me. Friends of mine have repeatedly threatened to buy me a Tommy Tippy cup for nights out. Throwing wine spectacularly has become known as 'Doing a Louise' in some circles. Why would I want to go changing and leaving people disappointed?!

Funny quotations

2009-04-26T03:50:00.009+01:00

A couple of great ones heard last week:

"I played chicken with a pidgeon... and lost"

"It's OK, you're my brothers in Christ - you're allowed to look at my breasts."

Brilliant T-shirt

2009-04-08T23:04:00.003+01:00

This could have been designed for me - NakedPastor I salute you!

Flower power

2009-03-23T01:06:00.005Z

I love flowers. I get very excited at receiving them, especially out of the blue.

On Sunday I was flattered to receive two batches! The kids were distributing little bunches of daffodils in the morning's service, which was very sweet. Then in the evening, even though I wasn't in the service, someone kindly thought of me for a bunch of the church flowers (a rare privilege!) and sent them home for me with a housemate - thanks Hen.

They're gorgeous, and the flat smells wonderful. Though I have a small niggling feeling of paranoia...
It was Mothers' Day...

The mouths of babes...

2009-03-21T16:40:00.007Z

I was at the farmers' market this morning, glancing at the hand-made chocolate stall. A small boy was eyeing up the large Easter eggs, and noticing me, he started a conversation...

Small Boy: You should buy one of these.
Me: I'd love to but I shouldn’t.
SB: Why not?
Me: Because my tummy's already too big! We don't want it to be any bigger do we?
SB: (ponderously) I know you don't have a baby in there... but if you did, and you ate one of those really big eggs, the baby could get squashed couldn't it?..."

Even with such a rudimentary understanding of biology, I was grateful for his support in the non-pregnant campaign!

Not me!

2009-03-10T22:07:00.010Z

Sunday morning I was innocently sitting at the drum kit waiting for the service to start. From my vantage point I could see a few groups of visitors, mainly kids of church members, who had long grown up, moved away, and were back for a visit.

One couple were celebrating their golden wedding anniversary, and it was lovely to see their daughter and grandchildren had come from abroad. I also spotted Louise and her husband hidden in the middle of a row. She had long gone off to University by the time I joined the church, and though I'd met them both through family and friends, I'm sure half the congregation hadn't.

During the welcome, one lady dashed up to whisper in the announcer's ear. Clearly flustered at a last-second piece of news, he failed to remember her married name, and not wishing to call her by her maiden name declared:
"Louise... is expecting!"

Needless to say, most eyes turned (if for some, only briefly) to the familiar Louise displayed like a prize lemon on a platform at the front. Much laughter, arm waving, head shaking and pointing at the real culprit later, I think I’d made my point.

This didn’t stop a friend from making “...in your condition.” comments at every opportunity after the service. I made it quite clear that if he kept that up I would stop denying it, and instead, take to telling everyone it was his!

Best quotes of the day!

2009-02-04T20:37:00.004Z

Best quotes from this afternoon at SWBC.

"That's the second time I've exposed myself today"
You should have seen people's faces!

In the midst of bragging about celebrities people know/have met, our dear friend shrugged in a kind of 'is this the kind of thing you're after?' way:
"Well my adoped Dad is.....God". The ultimate trump.

"I'm a Meyers-Briggs 'T'... On a good day I have no feelings."

Indescribable

2009-02-04T12:51:00.009Z

We were singing Chris Tomlin's Indescribable yesterday in morning prayers. Mostly a very good song. But I have a problem with the first line of the second verse:

"Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go?"

We were discussing the song afterwards, and someone pointed out that they weren't entirely comfortable with some of the lyrics. Being in a very bad mood, I blurted out my thoughts in not quite the way I meant:
"I know! - What idiot wrote that line?"
only to be told by my Principal (complete with waving Bible)
"That idiot was Job", causing much laughter.

OK, so I accept it was funny, but I was trying to make a serious point. Of all the wonderful descriptions of God in Job, why pick that one bit of imagrey which is so fundamentally unhelpful in our culture? It just confirms the "behave yourself or God's going to zap you with a lightening bolt from his finger" image, like He's some mean twin of the God of the Lotto, who points his finger to announce "It could be you!" winning the millions.

Is it just me? I've thought a bit about trying to find an alternative line that works - any suggestions?

Religious Buses

2009-02-02T12:32:00.000Z

Baptist Bookworm has posted about the atheist bus adverts, and highlighting the Bus Slogan Generator. Thanks for that! Here's my own contribution:

My cross-dressing revealed!

2009-01-30T20:57:00.000Z

Stormy Stan at the APS (SOS edition) quiz

The (canteen) laydeeez just luuurve a man in uniform

The Senedd exhibition

You have to love those yellow-wellied heroes!

2009-01-30T16:07:00.000Z

As often as I am able, I pop back to the Bay on a Friday lunchtime to catch up with workmates. The visiting-drought of the exam period being over, I was excited to get down to my home-turf today to see friends, and was already on a promise for coffee. Perfect.

They'd been holding a fundraising day for the RNLI, thanks to my good friend Abi, and I was amazed to see how much people had got on board (pardon the pun!) with it. As well as a quiz, and refreshments, a beautician was on hand providing various treatments. Having decided the only thing I could have afforded would have been an eyebrow wax (if I could have borne the idea!) I thought I might get away without looking too stupid today.

So I arrived to find Abi selling cakes and looking flustered. I'm not sure how it happened, but the next thing I knew I was taking half my clothes off in the photocopying room and putting on some very special yellow wellies!

You see Stormy Stan is a volunteer lifeboat man. His profile describes him as mid 40's, about 14 stone, and likes the ladies but isn't lecherous. He's a poster boy for the RNLI, and today he made a special appearance at work.

He'd had a refit since I'd last donned those oversized squashy wellies and giant head in the relative isolation of Barry Island. But it was lovely to hear the delighted reactions of supposed grown-ups in the office environment, and receive the spontaneous hugs that otherwise reserved people gave this apparently complete stranger! (Some were particularly fond of the beard!). I posed for photos with friends and visitors, in the office and the Senedd - all in blissful anonymity.

It wasn't quite the coffee and natter I was expecting, but it was both fun and memorable.

It's always good to be reacquainted with an old friend!

"Give me a ticket for an aeroplane...my baby just wrote me a letter" (Jefferson Airplane)

2009-01-29T21:44:00.000Z

OK, so I'm aware that I've already strayed far beyond my self-imposed remit (on my second post!!!) but this was just so funny I had to share it.

Apparently the 'Greatest ever letter of complaint' to Richard Branson, from the Times online:
http://timesnews.typepad.com/news/2009/01/apparently-sir-richard-branson-thevirgin-bossthought-this-was-the-funniestletter-of-complaint-hed-ever-received------dear.html

The Mystery of Music

2009-01-29T14:59:00.000Z

Since becoming a student I seem to have been regressing. Rather than update friends with my (lack of) academic progress, I've decided all and sundry will gain far greater enjoyment from hearing about my moments of ridiculously stupid, and unfortunately mostly accidental, silliness, clumsiness and general daft-as-a-brushness.

So I begin this blog with one of my less spectacular, though commoner, moments of silliness:

I was walking to lectures this morning, all cabled-up with iPod, trying to work out why I couldn't hear Seth Lakeman's energetic rhythms. I checked the track was playing, the volume was sufficiently loud, and the wire was definitely plugged in. I tried changing artist with no greater success. Gradually coming to the conclusion that I must have finally worn out the headphone cable's connection, I became aware that the chill wind was blowing in my ears, and I must have neglected to put the headphones on!

When these forays into the world of daftness start early in the day, my hope is always that I will have got it out of my system before I need to do anything important. Well, one can only hope!