Family Reunion / It's no use crying over spilt drinks

I spent Saturday night at the engagement party of a distant relative I had never previously heard of. It seems the event was being used as an excuse for a family reunion. So I spent quite a while being dragged around my Mother's cousins being introduced: "This is Louise; my eldest" to which I dutifully shook hands and said how nice it was to meet them. I was rarely told to whom I was being introduced though.

Eventually I drifted off and began meeting people my own age who were all 42nd cousins 3rd removed, and even discovering friends in common. As we mingled and chatted, one guy asked me who I was. I told him, and asked the same. The response was "Who am I? It's my party!" It seems this was the groom-to-be, and possibly the first non-relative I'd met all evening. Poor man must have felt invaded by the in-laws!

Also, within 5 minutes of arriving, I had managed to pour a drink all down the back of my leg. Well, if Mother will insist on leaving it in places where I can knock it over!

Unfortunately, this wasn't a great surprise given my reputation. Spilling drinks, usually the first of the evening, has become part of what people expect from me. Friends of mine have repeatedly threatened to buy me a Tommy Tippy cup for nights out. Throwing wine spectacularly has become known as 'Doing a Louise' in some circles. Why would I want to go changing and leaving people disappointed?!